Thursday, September 20, 2007

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

4.sept 2007

Maya Tudor: te-am visat asta noapte
Maya Tudor: ca te imbratisam f drag
Maya Tudor: si aveai fata neagra
Maya Tudor: sau se schimba mereu cand alba cand neagra f ciudat
Maya Tudor: dar era o intalnire f calda

Friday, August 24, 2007

+



August 24, 2007 1:46 AM
all is liquid now,and in the veins of the harmonium,
please lord,
oh my beleive please,
just one day under this sun,
one time in my life
for that plants and unique twins,
for this twin and poet,
oh sky,listen my tones.

i have my little-bones-childs running after me
after my simply brave consortium of heart and soul
now they running just back of my wings
and i will cry and suffer for speaking and extract this
sun's pieces by my eyes,
now,oh,loves and life,i can and i could watch the sun directly in his burning true.
i will just walk and run across the earth and floors as
just this absolute-exit of tears.
C.G

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Ch Aug 23, 2007 7:00

is frozen now
all is liquid and in the veins of the harmonium

i have my little-bones-childs running after me
after my simply brave consortium of heart and soul
now they running just back of my wings
and i will cry and suffer for speaking and extract this
sun's pieces by my eyes,
now,oh,loves and life,i can and i could watch the sun directly in his burning true.
i will just walk and run across the earth and floors as
just this absolute-exit of tears.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Christophe

is beautiful my marian

oui tu as besoin de choses simples,
pures,
comme l'enfance,
comme l'enfant qui a une vision du futur tres forte et grande,mais qui a aussi une vision du futur spontané,du futur-present,
explode every moment of the present,
exploring each eyes movements as if there will no tomorrow,
because this tomorrow are the present,
as the murmures of our chest.
as hands,pure hands around the head and the heart,
as the love,
this eternel Loves and plants,
as rain from bottom and high.
as my comfort,my taller comfort for you,
my absolute and infinite tenderness for all your body-Soul-heart.


sinuous is the fear,
emilian have the fear and is normal,
but we have each others to understand and across fears as a sun,
we have to embrace the fear with all our lips and stomach.
you,my marian,you are one of this human on this planet that can make poetry with this fear,
that can make and create the most sensitive and touching sentiments for love,
you,
yes,
but not all the people.
and you,
you deserve since that you was born.

i'm there
and here,
i'm the most wild-tender-Child now,
full as ocean of sensivity,
for life.

Pauline

M,

I hope you can read my silence as love.

We will follow you. Soon for time and future as an eternity for those instants in front of ....l'indicible.

Hearing the mermaids voices.

Because you preserved my life and love when everybody thought about "future".
Parce qu'alors tu as parlé d'un devenir.

my silence is love.

Tant de fois, j'ai tenu C. et mes bras étaient les flancs d'un berceau.

Je n'ai pas peur.
Et je crois que nous ne sommes pas tristes.
C'est là ce que je crois.


I hope you can read my silence as love.

For you, M,

P.

Friday, August 17, 2007

robearth- un baiat necunoscut

stii..
aseara te-am visat..
de fapt mai mult simbolic.. printr-un mesaj p telefon in care tu imi reprosai ca nu fructific relatia noastra :|
nu stiu ce a vrut sa fie.. chiar si in vis reactia mea a fost una stranie.. incepusem sa plang:|
mno.. am vrut doar sa iti impartasesc visul meu pt ca a avut legatura cu tine
multumesc ca m-ai ascultat

christophe

photo: emilian c


__As a child i fell ill from hunger and fear,
i tear shreds of skin from my lips,
in my memory,
i lick traces of salt of freshness and i still walk.
i sit on a doorstep looking for warmth,
i stagger deliriously as to the piper's tune.
i looking for a white room
when i heard the sentences of tones,
infinite and fast destiny.
C.G for M.P

*


we had found more things
than we beleive before us..

that is the old-blood that
we can find in what we call "love".

as mothers and plants.

we had found more sun's pieces before us,
in reality,we found it in our beast-memory,
as precious plants disorder,
as this childhood 's morning with sun-lines
on the start of the walls.

i beleive my twin,
both hands of waters
both languages of sisters
same fountains of bloods.

this words means to me and moved me,
because i need,
this world means to me
because i lived more under
the earth

as my birth-mark

as our inhuman draw's Loves

as my need to explode
on a skin's dances and eyes

if you are a prince
i will and i am a vertige
with fast destiny,
as my first words.

i express this "need" in flash,
this flashs calling music.

and this words are "loss of words"
because we read between lines,
as now.
C.G for M.P








emil

Ma tot foiesc..locul meu e acolo unde arde lumea, apa sapa gauri in pereti, cintecul afecteaza ginduri nemiscate. simt prin tien tot ce misca...
16.06.2007


Vei sta inchis cu lacat in mine, pina ne vom recunoaste din nou. puterile. deja existente. impotente peste kilometri.
19.06.2007


Sint in locul plin de rotite zimtate, in tinele amplu si fast si electro...in mintea ta acvariana si in degetele tale.. Somnul meu nemiscat a inceput, dragul meu...
21.06.2007


Alerg dupa ciori carnivore si implor.1.cine sint doamnele si ce vor?! curg valuri de mov. a curs singe de ambele parti. te respir malign...te implor dragul meu...
26.06.2007

Ascunde-te-n redingota mea...musca mi ficatul...da-i pe pustii pe cei fara unghii...Sint in tine. si maninc din lebada de pe masa...si fsac ce vrei cu tine, dragul meu
26.06.2007

Buna dimineata, dragul meu, creatura recompusa, fluture nocturn si debil, in curidn am sa iti spun buna dimineata, impingindu mi fata in pieptul tau cu sertare.
13.07.2007





Wednesday, June 20, 2007

emil,

"Vreau sa ma plimb cu tine prin podgoriile franceze, sa adorm pe tine in trenuri, sa ti sorb saliva, sa nu ti iau niciodata numele in desert.. vreau suflul tau..."

Saturday, June 16, 2007

dragule,

trei cuviunte si trei inspirari. cateva clipiri alaturi de stalpi...multe oase...cateva din multele, unele drepte..altele cu mutatii...oasele tale-mi vorbesc despre mine. am cautat in mine ce ai tu pentru mine. am gasit destul/destule..nenumarate simili-tudini, ati-tudini, lovituri. cand ai sa-mi spui ca ma ai pentru tine, pentru tine, pentru tine...si nu drept invatacel??!....si cand ai sa ma faci sa ma sorb singur de dor?
ce simt acum nu e dor...pt ca nu-mi imaginez dorul ca pe ceva ce-si cere drepturile in urma a ceva traitt... ce simt acum e vis de ape. si spun ape, stiind ce dor iti este tie de alge, nisipuri si pini, fraze urlatoare, nesarate vanturi, vase fructate si maini neobosite.....si stiu ca nu vrei ca visul sa fie concav, usor, ca o femeie usoara ce-si cere drepturile sau isi cedeaza dreptul la intra-, pentru paine si sare....
du-ma!....du-ma unde ai sa stii...nu-mi mai spune...doar tu-mi mentionai ca multe din cele ce au loc intre noi...n-au raspunsuri...sunt asa..necunoscute...
da-mi ce vrei, nu-mi lua nimic. ce am, am pentru mine. mai bine fa-ma "tu"...si profita de tot.,de tot...simplitatea din mine nu e intamplatoare, nu are culoare../..ea merge pana acolo unde totul se divide. si asta da simplitate(!)...asta da!
imi place ....si nu tine de concepte si studiu, de cerinte si cizelare..
tine de fragezimea situatiei, de momentul ala..de nimicuri...
doar este una dintre surse..
complex sau nu..cel de langa noi simte ca-i fug de sub picioare covoarele de lana si lame, mobila turquoise...
daca sunt azi cecea ce sunt, e pentru ca tu m-ai facut asa..
si mi-ar placea sa spun asta...cu atitudine atemporala,cu sange pe buze...
chiar m-as vedea..in noapte...ars de soarele de dupa...primit in templele de crudicizatore..cele din tine...
sunt momente in care vreau sa-ti ating pulpele...sa te vad zvacnind langa mine...nu stiu cat de sexual...redundant...respectiv trivial...simt ca deja _alta e stacheta...si pot chiar sa-ti mangai talpile si..... nu ne-am mai fastaci...
simt ca in tine e doritorul meu, frezele mele pt oase, furcile caudine, lunetele, colibele din stuf....matraguna..
simtul meu tipa.
am curaj sa te dezgrop. da-mi motive.

(am scris fara tema,doar cu orgoliu. am putut sa-ti spun 3(trei)...cauta-le, intelege-te, reculege-ma.)_

dragule.
Emilian

Monday, June 11, 2007

Anne,

you are perhaps the most beautiful man in the world. when i think of you and the concept of you i am overwhelmed.

i want to meet with you one day

and have moments captured in a photo.


much love to you marian.

miss matchsticks

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

May 15, 2007 12:48 AM

Dear dear Marian,


Wisdom is to find love in all creatures. You have the capacity of beeing this kind of person who loves what have been created.
But Marian, loving is to accept the liberty of what we love. I know you are aware of that. But it is important to say it again now. My first love, when I was 15, didn t love me back. He told me " Pauline you are a smart, mature and charming girl but I can't force myself to love you. " I spent years loving him whatever. And told myself that if I loved him really, as he was, I had to accept the fact that his "refus" was a part of him. I had to love him with this refus to love me back. It teached me a lot and when I think it back, well...i realise that I learned maybe more loving him without an answer than he learned refusing me....

Because behind the flesh, we never love in emptyness. Notre amour est toujours rendu au centuple. What we give, thinking we give it in vain, is never given in vain. It makes us bigger and closer to what is sacred and divine.

It teached me to accept this liberty of every creature. like when your cat go by the window, and never comes back.

If you can love like that, I think your heart becomes as huge as the world ittself.

when Christophe leaved to confront hisself to life.I was devastated. Yes, Marian, I know it is not the same thing, Christophe and I staid together. But I learned that behind the couple, there is something stronger.

One day i was walking in the country, near to the tree that is on my page. I was ruined and dark, so dark. And suddenly I realized, watching the nature growing, how much I had. I felt rich. Not because of a couple. Because of my capacity to love.
This capacity is one of the most important quality you have, Marian.

You can love for the beauty of loving. What you accepted with christophe. Your total absence of egoism. it is rare and pure.

Don't ever let a story erase this capacity.

I would like, Marian, to see you,....
I f you want to come. I have work, but you could stay near and I will make you tea.

You are more than a friend. And I want you to smile. I don't want all these tears on your pure face....

You are so rare.

Love,
pauline

And from Christophe who is not here but I am sure that he think of you in these moments.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

mai 13

imi aduc aminte de luna mai asa:
-o lumina mirifica;
-explozia florilor;
-litaniile lauretane;

iar de acum asa:

tu es le temoin Marian,



le temoin.


tu dois accepter de toute tes forces,de toute ton Ame le temoin.

tu dois Marian.

c'est tres rare,

tres rare.

c'est aussi tres precieux comme toute choses pretent a rendre l'Ame.

tu es le temoin des Sept existant sur cette planete.

Tu peux mourir plusieurs fois avec toute la Grace que t'a donné la Vie Marian.

Seul Katalina,pauline et moi sommes unis a cela.

c'est comme ca.


Tu es Marian et le restera a l'eternel.

tu es Marian.

tu es unique en Visions,

en transports d'Ames,

en Chemin de traverses et de Bontés,
Obstacles de Beautés d'interieur,
d'inconnus tant vu par tes Yeux.

Tu es Marian.

mon Marian.

je t'aime Marian.


Christophe.
*
You are my sister,

You are my brother,

You are not alone.

You are my sister,

You are my brother,

You are not alone.

You are my sister,

You are my brother,

You are not alone.

http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/12/10/493503/zhe%20dir.mp3


I will stand for you.

love
Pauline



Kyrie, eleison. R. Kyrie eleison
Christe, eleison. R. Christe, eleison.
Kyrie, eleison. R. Kyrie eleison
Christe, audi nos. R. Christe, audi nos.
Christe, exaudi nos. R. Christe, exaudi nos.
Pater de caelis, Deus, R. miserere nobis.
Filie, Redemptor mundi, Deus, R. miserere nobis.
Spiritus Sancte Deus, R. miserere nobis.
Sancta Trinitas, unus Deus, R. miserere nobis.
Sancta Maria, R. ora pro nobis.
Sancta Dei Genetrix, R. ora pro nobis.
Sancta Virgo virginum, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater Christi, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater Ecclesiae, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater Divinae gratiae, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater purissima, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater castissima, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater inviolata, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater intemerata, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater amabilis, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater admirabilis, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater boni Consilii, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater Creatoris, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater Salvatoris, R. ora pro nobis.
Virgo prudentissima, R. ora pro nobis.
Virgo veneranda, R. ora pro nobis.
Virgo praedicanda, R. ora pro nobis.
Virgo potens, R. ora pro nobis.
Virgo clemens, R. ora pro nobis.
Virgo fidelis, R. ora pro nobis.
Speculum iustitiae, R. ora pro nobis.
Sedes sapientiae, R. ora pro nobis.
Causa nostrae laetitiae, R. ora pro nobis.
Vas spirituale, R. ora pro nobis.
Vas honorabile, R. ora pro nobis.
Vas insigne devotionis, R. ora pro nobis.
Rosa mystica, R. ora pro nobis.
Turris Davidica, R. ora pro nobis.
Turris eburnea, R. ora pro nobis.
Domus aurea, R. ora pro nobis.
Foederis arca, R. ora pro nobis.
Ianua caeli, R. ora pro nobis.
Stella matutina, R. ora pro nobis.
Salus infirmorum, R. ora pro nobis.
Refugium peccatorum, R. ora pro nobis.
Consolatrix afflictorum, R. ora pro nobis.
Auxilium Christianorum, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina Angelorum, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina Patriarcharum, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina Prophetarum, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina Apostolorum, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina Martyrum, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina Confessorum, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina Virginum, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina Sanctorum omnium, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina sine labe originali concepta, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina in caelum assumpta, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina Sanctissimi Rosarii, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina familiae, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina pacis, R. ora pro nobis.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, R. parce nobis, Domine.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, R. exaudi nobis, Domine.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, R. miserere nobis.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

simbata dupa amiaza!

acum doarme. parca toata lumea din mine doarme. pe colturi de canapele, pe minuscule perne, pe fotolii din mini cazindui cartea.

o liniste oarecum suspecta de care eu doar ma bucur.

acum doarme. cauta.

ating tastatura cu cea mai mare grija. inca doarme.

May 12, 2007 5:35 PM

Marian,

Je me suis endormie, à l'instant, aux côtés de ma princesse.

Tu étais à nouveau dans mon rêve... toujours dans ce train. C'est étrange. Tout ce dont je me souviens, est que nous nous observons en silence dans le reflet de la fenêtre. Le paysage défile à toute vitesse, et nous, nous restons immobiles, heureux.

Friday, May 4, 2007

May 4, 2007 11:11 AM

"You were in my dream this night again ! In this one, we took a train and we were observing each other in the reflection of the window of the train. A music was there (strangers on a train). I will send it to you if you want.
That's good to meet you during my nights."

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

R

"am visat ca alergam pe linga o mare" imi spuse el la citeva minute dupa ce se trezise in bratele mele.

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 12:17:45

M.,

How can i say that ?...

Since few nights, your soul is in my dreams. Since few days, your soul is in my body. I don't know what to do with... this incredible sensation. You're in me Marian.
I am not alone, i am a mother and i am with you night and day.
I don't know what to do... I can't beleive me. I can't tell anybody about that. So now you know the truth : you are and will stay an important person in my life.
Thank you.

J.de la L.

You know what happened yesterday night.

Te am visat toata noaptea. In episoade, cu intreruperi, treziri bruste , pe alocuri tristete si in final bucurie.
Imi aduc amite foarte bine trei momente de o intimitate care ma socheaza si acum la citeva ore dupa: primul contact vizual, fata in fata cu tine a fost ceva cutremurator, se intimpla undeva pe un munte. Simt si acum acel aer racoros, sublim care ne trecea prin par. Nu ne am spus nimic, nici macar un cuvint insa stiu ca ce m a socat a fost gestul tau, aproape brutal, carnal, visceral. Mai sarutat asa cum nu ai mai facut niciodata cu nimeni. Pina si eu stiam/simteam asta. Insa nici unul din noi si mai ales eu nu am simtit momentul ca ceva erotic. Era ca un strigat neputiincios a materiei care trebuia dat ce ii apartine. Infinitul de dragoste care vroiai sa il rastorni asupra mea nu putea fi pus decit in acest gest atit de mundan dar atit de extrem.
Imi este foarte greu sa explic. Acel sarut a fost ca ultima si desavirvita dovada de dragoste. Strabatea orice cutuma, preconceptie, senzatie.

*
Iti scriu acum de parca as scrie lumii intregi
*
Apoi am locuit in acel virf de munte. La fel. In tacere. Era cel mai frumos loc de pe pamint.
Apoi ai inceput sa arzi. Pur si simplu. De sus pina jos. Vedeam cum te transforimi in flacari uriase. Spaima mea se citea pe fiecare por al fetei mele insa nu puteam face nimic. Chiar inainte de a disparea complet mam trezit. Brusc. Frica mia pus stapinire pe o parte din realitatea devreme a diminetii. Desi stiam ca e doar un vis.
Am adormit din nou. Si team visat iar.

el:
Apr 3, 2007 12:17 PM

marian..

..my marian..

today is sad and very hard,
sorrow and holy

i drive all the nigth across the france
i quit paris for go in my father house,
for a long prayer.

i love p. with all my heart and soul
like you.
*

ea:
Apr 3, 2007 2:41 PM

You know what happened yesterday night.
So much love and departure....
The flat is empty now, Marian.
I have this music. I have these thoughts.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 12:17:45

M.,

How can i say that ?...

Since few nights, your soul is in my dreams. Since few days, your soul is in my body. I don't know what to do with... this incredible sensation. You're in me Marian.
I am not alone, i am a mother and i am with you night and day.
I don't know what to do... I can't beleive me. I can't tell anybody about that. So now you know the truth : you are and will stay an important person in my life.
Thank you.

J.de la L.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

prada man

el: ce se mai intampla prin sufletul tau?
eu: blinde adieri
el: ce mireasma >?
eu: resline de Labdanum de France, Feuilles de Patchouli d'Indonesie, Cardamome du Guatemala, Safran d'Espagne et Daim...& etc
el: hmmm
el: dragut insa ma asteptam sa mi spui flori de cires inflorit
el eu asa simt ca este sufletul tau

Saturday, March 31, 2007

dupa o noapte

19 - Adagio from String Quintet in C (Schubert).mp3

Tristetea poarta o definitie care nu poate fi pusa in cuvinte. Iar cea a lui Schubert nici macar nu poate fi rostita. Doar ascultata!

*

Nu trece simbata fara a ma gindi la el. Macar citeva minute, secunde. E ca un ritual nespus.S a transformat intr o mica religie. Are un sanctuar invizibil unde ma inchin.
Si nu in alte zile. Doar simbata. Ii aud pentru citeva minute gesturile, plonjez pentru tot atitea minute in ochii abisali de frumosi.
Frica a pus stapinire pe trecut si cumva e iremediabila.
Si au trecut atitia ani!


*

Tristetea poarta o definitie care nu poate fi pusa in cuvinte. Doar ascultata!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

cindva, ieri seara

nicind apele oceanului nu vor fi indulcite de apele riurilor

un soare, o primavara

Ieri seara:
Miini rectangulare, mandibula proiectata perfect, piele asa cum o numesc eu " de garcon", ochi locuiti de un iris anormal de hipnotic, barba excesiv masculina pe linga fruntea de o finete si expresie rara. Degete mai lungi in poza dar mai creative in realitate, muschi abia tresariti dar usor de revigorat, fese cu mesajul incorporat, picioare sadite de par , talpi de o imprecizie senzoriala, unghii abia auzibile.
El: "M. tu scoti din om partea cea mai frumoasa, iar el nu e numai asta si te paraseste atit de rapid tocmai ca el nu e numai acest frumos".

O impreunire aproape lugubra, tacuta, cu priviri tresarinde de spaima si fuga, gesturi abia atinse de palpabil, delicatese desprinse din vitrinele de fondant.

Astazi:
Ginduri razlete, simturi deplin implinite, pilea inca atirna de acea piele.
Vorba lui M. "un soare, o primavara, o muie".

Azi seara:
Eu sms " Mam gindit adesea la tine. O seara minunata..."
El sms " :)Multumesc dar nu tb sa te gindesti atit de mult la mine. Esti un tip fascinant, insa tu stii ca eu am pe cineva nu? Acum intelegi de ce eram speriat? Vorbin miine. Te pup."
Posted on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 at 12:27

...little Buda

...duminica, acum cinsprezece ani incepea asa: la sapte treizeci dimineata mama tragea de somnul meu. Urma inevitabil spalatul. Mai intotdeauna cu apa rece apoi cu gesturi mecanice aproape de mic robot imi puneam camsa de un galben pai, sirguincios apretata, minutios calcata. Recunosc eram un copil dificil pe alocuri si mai alintat ca un "little Buda".


Liturghia incepea la ora 8.00. Ii auzeam ultima strigare odata cu destrabalatul sunet al celor trei clopote. (cindva o sami amintesc despre prima data cind am "tras" clopotele, mai ales pe cel Mare si cum am simtit ca ma desprind de pamint si ma duce in cer fringhia groasa - se intimplase cind vroiam sa alungam norii de grindina).
Repetam fara nici o putinta de scapare cele zece porunci ale lui Dumnezeu, cele cinci porunci ale Bisericii, cele sapte sacramente, si in sfirsit Crezul care mereu creea probleme. Mari probleme.
Ma fascinau povestile predicii. Imi aduc aminte si azi de minunatel imagini din acele pilde si de amuzanta, calvitie a Parintelui Gherman. Insa totul a inceput cu Parintele Pacurici. Ce nume! Asta nu ma amuza atunci. Inalt pina mai sus de altarul urias, de o frumustete ascetica rara si de o bunatate cit intrega lume acest tinar barbat a fost prima mea intilnire cu Sublimul in starea lui cea mai pura.

Imi aduc aminte ca odata sau de doua ori nu sa luat masa la prinz. Am simtit atunci ca se sfirsise o lume, ca duminica apartinea altcuiva decit mie si familiei mele. Mereu doua feluri. Niciodata desert. Mai intotdeauna desertul venea undeva dupa amiaza.
Daca nu veneau rudele la noi mergeam noi la ele. Asa ca mai mereu aveam parte de ele. Nicio bucurie.

Seara se minca putin. Aproape dietetic. Iar somnul meu era cel mai hipnotic. Adormeam pe unde apucam. Delicul ultim al zilei era sa urmaresc intro reverie inocenta, lupta pe care o dadeu ai mei cu dezbracatul hainutelor mele. Adoram acest lcuru. Tirziu miam dat seama ca aceasta placere nu mia disparut. Aterizam in cearsafurile de un alb obositor de curat si scortos de abundenta si obsesia apretului ca un pui in cuibul lui cu siguranta faptului ca e ocrotit.

...si cred ca era duminica seara, seara tirziu cind am fost trezit din tot ce ii puteam (s)pune numele Copil arie...