May 15, 2007 12:48 AM

Dear dear Marian,


Wisdom is to find love in all creatures. You have the capacity of beeing this kind of person who loves what have been created.
But Marian, loving is to accept the liberty of what we love. I know you are aware of that. But it is important to say it again now. My first love, when I was 15, didn t love me back. He told me " Pauline you are a smart, mature and charming girl but I can't force myself to love you. " I spent years loving him whatever. And told myself that if I loved him really, as he was, I had to accept the fact that his "refus" was a part of him. I had to love him with this refus to love me back. It teached me a lot and when I think it back, well...i realise that I learned maybe more loving him without an answer than he learned refusing me....

Because behind the flesh, we never love in emptyness. Notre amour est toujours rendu au centuple. What we give, thinking we give it in vain, is never given in vain. It makes us bigger and closer to what is sacred and divine.

It teached me to accept this liberty of every creature. like when your cat go by the window, and never comes back.

If you can love like that, I think your heart becomes as huge as the world ittself.

when Christophe leaved to confront hisself to life.I was devastated. Yes, Marian, I know it is not the same thing, Christophe and I staid together. But I learned that behind the couple, there is something stronger.

One day i was walking in the country, near to the tree that is on my page. I was ruined and dark, so dark. And suddenly I realized, watching the nature growing, how much I had. I felt rich. Not because of a couple. Because of my capacity to love.
This capacity is one of the most important quality you have, Marian.

You can love for the beauty of loving. What you accepted with christophe. Your total absence of egoism. it is rare and pure.

Don't ever let a story erase this capacity.

I would like, Marian, to see you,....
I f you want to come. I have work, but you could stay near and I will make you tea.

You are more than a friend. And I want you to smile. I don't want all these tears on your pure face....

You are so rare.

Love,
pauline

And from Christophe who is not here but I am sure that he think of you in these moments.

mai 13

imi aduc aminte de luna mai asa:
-o lumina mirifica;
-explozia florilor;
-litaniile lauretane;

iar de acum asa:

tu es le temoin Marian,


le temoin.


tu dois accepter de toute tes forces,de toute ton Ame le temoin.

tu dois Marian.

c'est tres rare,

tres rare.

c'est aussi tres precieux comme toute choses pretent a rendre l'Ame.

tu es le temoin des Sept existant sur cette planete.

Tu peux mourir plusieurs fois avec toute la Grace que t'a donné la Vie Marian.

Seul Katalina,pauline et moi sommes unis a cela.

c'est comme ca.


Tu es Marian et le restera a l'eternel.

tu es Marian.

tu es unique en Visions,

en transports d'Ames,

en Chemin de traverses et de Bontés,
Obstacles de Beautés d'interieur,
d'inconnus tant vu par tes Yeux.

Tu es Marian.

mon Marian.

je t'aime Marian.


Christophe.
*
You are my sister,

You are my brother,

You are not alone.

You are my sister,

You are my brother,

You are not alone.

You are my sister,

You are my brother,

You are not alone.

http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/12/10/493503/zhe%20dir.mp3


I will stand for you.

love
Pauline



Kyrie, eleison. R. Kyrie eleison
Christe, eleison. R. Christe, eleison.
Kyrie, eleison. R. Kyrie eleison
Christe, audi nos. R. Christe, audi nos.
Christe, exaudi nos. R. Christe, exaudi nos.
Pater de caelis, Deus, R. miserere nobis.
Filie, Redemptor mundi, Deus, R. miserere nobis.
Spiritus Sancte Deus, R. miserere nobis.
Sancta Trinitas, unus Deus, R. miserere nobis.
Sancta Maria, R. ora pro nobis.
Sancta Dei Genetrix, R. ora pro nobis.
Sancta Virgo virginum, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater Christi, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater Ecclesiae, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater Divinae gratiae, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater purissima, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater castissima, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater inviolata, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater intemerata, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater amabilis, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater admirabilis, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater boni Consilii, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater Creatoris, R. ora pro nobis.
Mater Salvatoris, R. ora pro nobis.
Virgo prudentissima, R. ora pro nobis.
Virgo veneranda, R. ora pro nobis.
Virgo praedicanda, R. ora pro nobis.
Virgo potens, R. ora pro nobis.
Virgo clemens, R. ora pro nobis.
Virgo fidelis, R. ora pro nobis.
Speculum iustitiae, R. ora pro nobis.
Sedes sapientiae, R. ora pro nobis.
Causa nostrae laetitiae, R. ora pro nobis.
Vas spirituale, R. ora pro nobis.
Vas honorabile, R. ora pro nobis.
Vas insigne devotionis, R. ora pro nobis.
Rosa mystica, R. ora pro nobis.
Turris Davidica, R. ora pro nobis.
Turris eburnea, R. ora pro nobis.
Domus aurea, R. ora pro nobis.
Foederis arca, R. ora pro nobis.
Ianua caeli, R. ora pro nobis.
Stella matutina, R. ora pro nobis.
Salus infirmorum, R. ora pro nobis.
Refugium peccatorum, R. ora pro nobis.
Consolatrix afflictorum, R. ora pro nobis.
Auxilium Christianorum, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina Angelorum, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina Patriarcharum, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina Prophetarum, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina Apostolorum, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina Martyrum, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina Confessorum, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina Virginum, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina Sanctorum omnium, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina sine labe originali concepta, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina in caelum assumpta, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina Sanctissimi Rosarii, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina familiae, R. ora pro nobis.
Regina pacis, R. ora pro nobis.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, R. parce nobis, Domine.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, R. exaudi nobis, Domine.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, R. miserere nobis.

simbata dupa amiaza!

acum doarme. parca toata lumea din mine doarme. pe colturi de canapele, pe minuscule perne, pe fotolii din mini cazindui cartea.

o liniste oarecum suspecta de care eu doar ma bucur.

acum doarme. cauta.

ating tastatura cu cea mai mare grija. inca doarme.

May 12, 2007 5:35 PM

Marian,

Je me suis endormie, à l'instant, aux côtés de ma princesse.

Tu étais à nouveau dans mon rêve... toujours dans ce train. C'est étrange. Tout ce dont je me souviens, est que nous nous observons en silence dans le reflet de la fenêtre. Le paysage défile à toute vitesse, et nous, nous restons immobiles, heureux.

May 4, 2007 11:11 AM

"You were in my dream this night again ! In this one, we took a train and we were observing each other in the reflection of the window of the train. A music was there (strangers on a train). I will send it to you if you want.
That's good to meet you during my nights."